Your Global Blueprint
BELIEFS, VALUES, AND NORMS
It is a well-known fact in hypnotherapy that in order to create productive change we have to clearly picture and imagine what we want, not focus on what we don’t want. The mind cannot distinguish between the two when we focus strongly on images and feelings. So we have to quit obsessing on what we don’t want, and focus on and motivate ourselves toward the positive expression of our desires.
Nothing at last is sacred but the integrity of your mind.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson–from “Self-Reliance”)
PARTICIPATORY WISDOM: We are entering an era where more people are interested and concerned about the shift from super-imposed myth to awareness of the character of the creative process itself.
Control of the state of your mind body is the single most important aspect of self-regulation and self-care. It may be as simple as breathing in serenity and breathing out anxiety, simple exercises or other interventions in your cycles of pleasure/pain. The levels of intensity of pain pleasure motivate most of our behaviors. Your state of mind and the self-talk it generates are intimately linked to your values and beliefs.
You can find your global beliefs by filling in the blanks to “Life is ________” “I am _______” “People are ________.” Your beliefs target your values by the rule: if ________, then I’m ________. It is not that these beliefs are necessarily true. Most often they aren’t but are biased by negative self-image and external familial, social, cultural influences.
If you change your misaligned or obsolete values, you change your destiny. You can change “This is what I do” to “This is what I did”, and move on in your life. Values have means and ends. You need to target your ends, rather than listing means as values. Family, friends, money, relationships all give you something you desire from or through them, such as power, choice, freedom, passion. Even if we hold similar values, we may weight them differently, value them at different levels. The same values can be determined, governed and applied by different internally adopted “rules” by different individuals.
Which is most important to you? Love, security, adventure, success, comfort, outrageousness? What are you trying to avoid by that desire? Frustration, anger, pain, depression, humiliation, embarrassment, disappointment? Which do you want to avoid foremost? Blocks include
Fear of failure Fear of success Self-sabotage Unmanaged guilt Distractive lifestyle Chronic depression Poisonous pedagogy Professional discouragement Overwhelming responsibilities
You may find you have conflicting beliefs about yourself, others and the world that handicap your self-expression and integrity. Once you consciously align your values and beliefs you free up the energy of that conflict to direct it toward your goals.
THE BIG PICTURE: Purpose, Values, Beliefs, Strategies, Decisions, Action.
“A living symbol does something to us; it moves us, shifts our center of awareness, changes our values. Whether it is just looked at, or heard, acted out, painted out, written out, or danced out, it arouses not only thought, but delight, fear, awe, horror, perhaps a deeper insight.” –C. G. Jung Where are the boundaries of conscious experience and self, and why do these boundaries exist? What is beyond this mystic veil? How do boundaries, roles and pathology develop in interaction with parents, caregivers and others? In what ways are they conditioned by prevailing systems of belief, philosophy, sociocultural history, and environment? How is adult experience and sense of self altered by physical, psychological, social or spiritual development? How does subjective experience relate to intersubjectivity? How do changes in conscious experience affect one’s sense of self, for example through meditation, mysticism, or in pathological states? NLP When Staying Safe means Staying Stuck your solution IS the problem, it is time for change. We create an internal map of reality so we can feel safe in our family and environment as children, but it is the viewpoint of a child that becomes outmoded or obsolete. Beliefs can come from the inside or outside. We filter sensory input and focus on certain details and delete others, unconsciously, missing the big picture that can challenge and foster our growth. What is, IS as much as we may try to spin-doctor, edit or deny it. The old self must “die” for the new self to emerge from the pain and fear. We can focus on this natural filtering process and decide how to focus and what to delete to serve ourselves best. Make and apply the details to the Big Picture by chunking information (hierarchies of detail) consciously in your complex internal map of reality to make what you want. BEGIN WITH YOUR BELIEFS Values control and organize our beliefs associated with those values. They tell us what’s important and help us create operational rules for our lives. Some are empowering and some are disempowering. Values determine what we spend our time on by creating what’s important to motivating us to spend time on certain things. How we evaluate that can lead to conflicting values. They arouse emotion. When you are totally motivated what feelings do you have? Notice how important it is and find its value. If something isn’t on your list of values, you won’t be motivated. If there is conflict, sometimes you do one thing while other times you do something totally opposite. You spend more time on the most important values whether they contribute or stand in your way of taking action. Value hierarchies are created in youth (uncritical, unfiltered imprinting up to age 7; modeling and hero worship at ages 7-14; chosen socialization from society at large, 14-21) but the conflicts can be resolved by focusing on their order of importance. Safety is the biggest criteria for value choices. Parents, peers, media, church, local culture are effects. So are historical events and cultural differences. The part of you that creates a sense of safety also resists positive change, consciously and unconsciously. Part of us wants to remain the same despite our conscious desires. There is a price to pay for changes because it involves moving through the fear and pain to create the results we want. VIEW IT AND DO IT Our way of storing, categorizing, and retrieving information can be changed. Outgrown maps disrupt the creative process through which we realize our values and beliefs. Changing beliefs, cognitively and behaviorally, is quite possible with a few simple techniques, such as being the Watcher, overwriting old patterns and behaviors. Focus on what you want, not what you don’t want. You can create the life you want as long as you aren’t attached to the outcome. Your feelings don’t need to be egotistically attached to or identified with the results. It doesn’t affect your peace and happiness at the core level, though emotions still arise and fall away. We all have an internal map of reality and our beliefs generate our reality. Our main agenda is to be right about our beliefs. Values are the source and desire for motivation. Motivation comes from values; sense of safety comes from beliefs. If you create a 1-minute movie internally about what you WANT it is more effective than obsessing on what you don’t want. It is even more effective when you are in a meditative state.
THE WHOLE IN YOUR SOUL
1. WHAT IS IMPORTANT ABOUT LIFE?
2. Look again and add more values later; they may be more important than your first thoughts.
3. Think about when you were highly motivated and what values drove you.
4. Which values are most important? Rank them in order and re-compare them.
5. Compare each to all the others: If I could have this and not that…would it work for me?
6. IS THIS ME? What is the thing that generates what I ACTUALLY spend my time on, not what I think I should spend it on?
7. Identify conflicts in values. Am I moving away from any values? WHY is that important? Don’t pretend or censor yourself.
8. Frame values positively.
What you FOCUS ON is THE secret of life. You can EXPAND your internal map of reality. The most important variable is how you spend your time and EVALUATE what you’ve done. You can feel bad or guilty if you act on others’ values, not your own. Values tell you the deeper structure of how you create your life. Ask yourself WHY each value is crucial and what you fear without it. If a caring partner is important, have you had uncaring partners? If you crave financial security what would it mean to be poor? Would you rather be happy and poor or rich and unhappy? What do you want to avoid? What are you with or without it?
How do you rank the values of happiness, guidance, learning, career, money, renown, success, good relationships, mentoring, balance, integrity, novelty, excitement, comfort, service, compassion, IF those are some of your values? Is balance or success more important than family or communication? Is peace of mind more important than a partner? Than personal growth? Can you have money and integrity at the same time; money and family; money and happiness; freedom and relationship simultaneously? Health, avoiding failure, or avoiding pain?
WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT IN LIFE? If you could have balance but not family, or family without health or health without family, what would you choose? Family or security; success or family? Which would you choose first? Family but not love; fame but not family? Family or financial security? Family or social camaraderie? How do you rank your values? Is excitement, challenge or opportunity more important than balance, honesty, integrity, and security? Using your own values, make your own comparisons between them to determine your own ranking. Are there any values you are trying to avoid? Dig deeply within yourself.
Is security more important than challenge, excitement more important than love? Accomplishment more important than romance? Personal fulfillment more important than family? What works for you? What two are in conflict and how do you resolve that dissonance? Are security and excitement compatible for you? Are spirituality and financial security incompatible for you? Can you identify your conflicting values and the dissonance that creates in your mind/body and life?
We all have an M.O., a method of operating in the world at large.
How we act is governed by our motives and opportunities.
Beliefs and values direct our M.O. and WHY we do what we do.
Do you value excitement more than family, peace of mind more than truth or love or financial security; or balance, devotion, learning, honesty, integrity or friendship more than romantic love? Pair them and ask yourself which you want more, to be loved or to be honest? Can you be dishonest to be loved? Can you be loving if you are dishonest?
Whether you think your top values SHOULD rank that way or not, for example, peace of mind over family, it motivates you anyway. You need to know yourself, to know your M.O. in an accurate, considered way to achieve the life satisfaction you seek. If a value leads to another value, it ranks higher. Examine WHY certain values are more important to you.
Are you living an authentic life, doing what you really want? What do you move toward, and what do you move away from? Is that 90-10% or 50-50%? How much is what you move toward and how much away from? What makes you depressed, restless, frustrated, and anxious? Behind what’s important can be something you want to avoid. What’s holding you back? Do you stand up for the values you hold?
If you focus on what you don’t want, it’s because you had a negative emotional experience, wounding, or trauma. You watch out for it by focusing on what you don’t want – a negative experience. You focus harder on the path you don’t want to go down. You must heal the emotional trauma and root causes, initial events and neutralize the emotional charge. This eliminates the emotional charge and you don’t move away from it and you can focus on what you WANT. Once you remove the charge, it seems like something that happened to someone else – you no longer identify with it and aren’t motivated by decisions you made about yourself or the world in that root cause. Coping mechanisms (ego) can buffer us from true feelings, creating unwanted outcomes and feelings.
Once you clear these charges, your values list may change; some things may drop off and others change their order, through resolution of conflicts.
Values and goals interact to create a MISSION infused with a deep sense of personal satisfaction. You can formulate your own Mission Statement with a few simple steps:
1. Identify a goal or desire, then ask yourself “What do I want or need from this selected goal? What is important about it; what do I value about it?
2. Higher, more important, values can be discovered by asking, “What will these higher values do for me?” They may reveal greater happiness, success or achievement, but will reveal the direction your motivation comes from: Toward (achieve, attain, gain) or Away From (avoid, relieve, out).
3. Your highest value is found by asking, “What will having the highest value do for me?” Your answer helps you determine your Mission, your creative passion.
4. Your MISSION includes and fulfills all of your highest values.
Discipline, Practice, Service
Prayer and meditation technology can be practiced in a religious or non-religious context. It becomes an even more powerful force for change in your life with a spiritual outlook. Discipline is necessary for spiritual progress. This is why most Christians, Yogi’s and authentic systems of spiritual practice activate the third chakra early in their training. It creates spiritual will power. Also, for those of us who at times feel anger, a tendency to be control freaks, anxiety, resistance or stubbornness, activating this chakra gives us something spiritually constructive to do with this energy.
Many people feel they just don’t have enough time in their lives to put something else on their “to do” list. Of course, it is not that there isn’t enough time; we have all the time that we have. It is lack of direction, motivation, commitment and discipline where we fail. We have plenty of time for careers, family, reading, TV, shopping, vacationing, talking on our cell phones, emails and the internet. These are just a few of the seemingly infinite multitude of diversions available. Let’s be honest, most of us just haven’t made consistent spiritual practice a priority and more than bodybuilding.
In a way, our material culture diverts us from our spiritual nature and commitment. We invest a lot of our time and vitality in acquiring possessions, social status, and power. We feel we need to invest a lot of time and energy in careers, or at least good paying jobs. As we become more jaded, desensitized to our affluence, and still yearning for the elusive “something else”, we need more and more time and money to collect more possessions, or to have more experiences in an attempt to feel alive, to satiate our yearning. This yearning, which is of the spirit, can never be satiated solely through materialism and the lust for new experience.
We also can have a certain “spiritual” materialism and spiritual dilettantism. This can be an expectation of instant gratification / enlightenment, salvation from outside, attachment to dogma or philosophies, the reading thousands of books, attending lectures, and continually collecting self improvement courses, etc.
Posted on March 26, 2015, in Uncategorized and tagged Actress: Can’t Buy Me Love. A life coach, and personal empowerment expert, business consultant, Dr. Lisa Christiansen, health and wellness, Life Coach, Lisa Christiansen, Lisa Christine Christiansen, motivational speaker, self empowerment, success coach. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.